When I look back at my life thus far, most of the significant moments and decisions that have led me to this place were born out of following the heart and taking a chance. From moving in with Andre six months after meeting him to deciding to start a gifting company after posting a picture of something I had made for a friend on Instagram, many of the choices made were rooted in following my gut, saying yes to a feeling.
Andre and I always knew we wanted to have more than one child, but both felt like two was what it was going to be. Personally, the transition from one to two was a lot, definitely much harder than from zero to one. Between moving states with two little kids, a global pandemic, and just the usual stress that comes with being a parent and running a business, I have felt utterly exhausted with a major case of touch fatigue the past two years. Someone always needed me physically and emotionally, and I found myself constantly wondering if I would ever truly feel like a human again.
Then, over the past six months, as we have watched Paolo and Costa’s friendship blossom, there have been moments of wondering what it would be like to have a third. Andre and I had talked about it from time to time but would always talk ourselves out of the idea saying, “oh no,” that would be crazy! I mean, how would we even do it?!” Physically, emotionally, financially, all of these seemed like impossible obstacles when we tried to look at it objectively and responsibly. And, yet here we are.
I’m a firm believer that things work out the way they are meant to, even when they feel impossible in theory. We weren’t “ready” when we decided to have Costa. I had just started Valleybrink Road, we had no money, and I was catering nights and weekends all week long. But we did it, and it worked out. And, before Paolo’s arrival, we never thought we could afford to have two kids in Los Angeles, but work and opportunity have only increased with each new addition of our family.
So, after the initial shock a few months ago of discovering we were pregnant, we are now relishing in the extraordinary gift that is this new addition to our family. I am filled with such gratitude and know this is how it is meant to be. And, telling the boys that they were going to have another brother was one of the most extraordinary moments of my life. Costa’s shock, disbelief, and happiness were so overwhelming to him. He kept saying that he was so excited and he couldn’t believe it. Then, he turned to me and said, “I think I’m going to cry,” and proceeded to sob tears of happiness into my belly. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.
Since he found out, Costa asks me every day if I feel ok and wants to touch and feel my belly. He has started singing songs and giving belly kisses to his brother. Paolo is excited and always talks about how he is a big brother now, not the baby. The house is filled with love, happiness, and excitement for what is to come, and our hearts are so full. x